Guess where I'm spending my summer?

So I’m assuming this won’t be much of a surprise to most of you, but I’ll be leaving in 9 days to spend yet another summer counseling at Camp Barakel. I tried to think of another creative way to explain all the reasons why I’m going up, but I decided to just be lazy and direct you to my post from last summer again: http://chapterstoknowhimmore.blogspot.com/2011/05/so-its-official-im-counseling-at.html It has two ridiculous, original songs and you should really check it out if you’re at all confused/interested about why I spend 11 weeks up there every summer, or just if you want a good laugh!

With all the excitement I feel about the upcoming summer,  I’m also finding myself oddly surprised at the seriousness with which I find myself entering the summer, and with that, a feeling of regret that I didn’t enter last summer with that same seriousness. Oh, it’s not like I went to camp last summer excited for a summer of goofing off. And it’s also not like I went into the summer completely prideful, thinking I could do God’s work by myself. But I did enter last summer with ‘a false sense of superiority’. I went back expecting a duplicate summer to my first year counseling. I went back prepared to meet my first set of campers, and fully expecting my second summer’s campers to be the same, yet in so many ways, they were very, very different. And most embarrassing, I went into last summer still clinging to my own selfish pride-‘I’ wanted to counsel and ‘I’ wanted to do it in the way ‘I’ felt comfortable.’ I’ wanted to see God work, and ‘I’ knew in my head that couldn’t happen without God showing up and doing a miracle, but ‘I’ somehow thought since I’d already counseled a summer, ‘I’ knew what ‘I’ was doing and maybe needed God a little less.

I certainly didn’t enter last summer completely dependent on God. And God broke me and showed me my pride the first week of workshop. And the first week with techs. And the first week with campers. And the first week on West Side. And every other ‘first’ the whole summer long. And every time, I got a big painful reminder that it was still all about me. I still cared way too much about myself.

Maybe this is why I feel more cautious about handing out advice to new counselors this year. In some ways, I feel like I failed on so many levels last summer. But when I take the truths I learned last summer and begin to speak truth to myself and remember that although I failed to be all I should’ve been last summer, Jesus never failed to be all He should’ve been on earth, and He died for all that failure and sin. Then the blinder that guilt is, is removed and I am able to see all God taught me through last summer, and that, miraculously, he was also able to work through me in my girls’ lives, and I wasn’t too much of a stumbling block after all!

So here’s what I’m praying God will do this summer:

First, I’m praying He will teach me true humility, and that I would be empowered with his strength to serve this summer with a joyful, servant’s heart. I’m praying that past experiences won’t give me a false confidence or an annoyance towards the changes that will come this summer. This summer WILL be very different from last summer. And I don’t like change!  But by God’s grace I know I will ‘survive’ and grow through this.

Second, I’m also praying that God would yank me out of my comfort zone, since outside that comfort zone seems to be the best place he works in my life. And I’m praying that he WILL work, and that He would open my heart to be willing to be changed by that work.

Third, I’m praying He will give me His strength, energy, joy, and health, and that I would be daily reminded of my need to be dependent on Him for each of those things. Sometimes when I have an ‘easy’ week, it’s easy to think “I’ve got this, God. You can relax now.” But that’s one of the biggest lies Satan tries to deceive us with! I need God to show up every minute of every day, or my summer WILL be a failure!

Fourth, I’m praying for my techs. I will be counseling the high school girl workers called technicians or techs all summer. Here are the thing I am praying for them:

First, I’m praying that they, too, would come to camp willing to serve. I’m praying God would give them joyful attitudes and willing hearts to do whatever needs doing!

Second, I’m praying for their attitudes towards the change in dorms. We’ll be staying in the one building on camp property without bathrooms. This is different from what any of the techs arriving at camp are expecting, since previously, we lived in a dorm with nicer bunks and two bathrooms. There are plenty of other downsides to the new cabin, but also plenty of perks. I’m praying the other tech counselor and I will be able to sell them (and ourselves!) on the perks, and that we will not have to deal with too much complaining or other possible issues that may arise.

Third, and most importantly, I’m praying for their hearts. I’m praying God will show up every week and convict each heart of sin and their need for a Savior. I’m praying He will use their time at camp to conform them more into His own image. I’m praying for God to destroy the walls they’ve built around their hearts, and pull off the blinders Satan has placed on their eyes, so that they may truly understand the Bible, and that their time at camp would make them fall in love with Jesus and His Word. I’m praying that Satan would be bound from whispering lies to any of their hearts, but that the truth of God’s Word would be so strong that week, they could not help but listen and be changed. I’m praying for God to blow us all away with how He works-over and above anything we could think or imagine!

Lastly, for myself, I pray that God would equip me with His wisdom. I’m praying that every time I open the Bible to teach, I will be reminded that unless God shows up, the words I say will be my own words, worthless and powerless to change hearts. I pray God would supernaturally provide me with words to speak and that they would truly be His words-that He truly would speak to their hearts.

Please, please, please join me in prayer this summer. Without prayer, this summer is destined to fail. I’m desperate for God to show up and work, because I know that of myself, I won’t have strength, energy, joy, wisdom, or power to change hearts, and I desperately need each of those things!

For those of you who attend my church, I will be handing out prayer guides next Sunday, and I would LOVE it if you’d take one and put it in a place where you will regularly see it and be reminded to pray for me!

Ok, so the last thing you all should know is that mail time at camp is an awful lot like Christmas morning as a kid: You wait excitedly for it, and if you don’t get anything, it’s kinda sad and disappointing. Plus, it can get lonely being so far away. I’ll miss you all! So please, please send me mail! You can do this one of two ways: You can write to me through snail mail! I’ll give you the address so you won’t have an excuse.

Camp Barakel
Hannah Banura
P.O. Box 159
Fairview, MI 48621

You can also shoot me an email through the camp’s email service available right on their webpage campbarakel.org. It’s pretty simple.

Or if you happen to be an over-achiever or love me an awful lot, you could even send me a PACKAGE! That address is a little different than my mailing address:

Camp Barakel
Hannah Banura
1798 Shear Lake Road
Fairview, MI 48621

If you don’t send me a package and are up all night worrying that no one else sent me one all summer, don’t worry! 1.) I’ve never actually gotten a package at camp, so I don’t really expect to get one. 2.) I’ve already sent one to myself up there!

So yeah, I think that pretty much covers it! Thanks for reading!

Worship

I've led worship this fall and winter for the junior and senior high youth groups on Wednesday and Thursday nights, and most weeks I feel like I struggle with really "leading" some of the teens to worship. Sometimes I wonder what I could do to motivate worship and push them to sing with a heart of worship, not just absentmindedly mouth lyrics or sit bored in their chairs not singing at all. I feel dumb repeatedly telling them to "think about the words". And "God is so cool! Sing this song with me about how great he is!" honestly isn't the most eloquent or effective way to motivate worship. Obviously I can't change hearts, but obviously my mind never stops at mere wondering, so of course, I've had to think through this, ask God about it ,and wrestle through it myself. I think my first thought in this process was, "What motivates my own heart to worship?"

I think the greatest cause of worship for me is looking at the cross and all that Jesus accomplished there. Then the combination of that and looking at who I was and who God is making me to be makes my heart nearly burst with worship. There is no way I deserve God's mercy in saving me and His faithfulness to finish the work he has begun in me. It's all His doing!

Oh, my Savior is so great! Any time I hear a sermon on the cross and Salvation and what was accomplished, I can't keep from smiling, and everything in me wants to scream, "God, you are so awesome! Look what you did!" (And then I feel like those words are so inadequate and that I'm treating God like a two year old who's just learned to recognize the letter 'S'. )

Understanding that makes me realize that without the teens first having a right relationship with God, no one can stir them to worship God. A heart lost in sin cannot worship God. It can read and sing words, but it can't worship!

But what about those who know Jesus as Savior? What stirs their heart? What else fills me with worship?

Have you ever had a, “Thank you, God!” moment when something works out unexpectedly well, and you KNOW without a doubt that God was behind that, regardless whether you had prayed about the situation? God’s been showing me this last winter that He provides those moments just for His own glory-to fill our hearts with worship and to cause us to declare his wonderful work to others! (“For we cannot help but speak of the things we have seen and heard.” Acts 4:20 “Telling…the praises of the Lord, and his power and the wonderful works that He has done.” Psalm 78:4

But what about those moments in life where things don’t work out the way we want them to? Do those moments cause us to worship as well? Sometimes, worship is a choice based on faith in the promise of God to work all things out for His glory and the good of His people (Romans 8:28, Hebrews 11). But sometimes, the oddest things can cause our hearts to worship even here on earth.

Like cold, long winters (or even several months of mild winter!) which stir my heart to worship because of the joy and excitement of warm, spring weather.

Or bad weather while driving which causes worship because of the safety God provides.

And even if God does not provide safety, car accidents fill my heart with worship every subsequent journey of safety.

Even being sick causes me to worship because of the feeling of health and energy afterwards.

Looking at my sin causes me to worship, not in a "taking advantage of grace" sort of way, but in realizing that even when I mess up, I have a great Savior who is faithful to forgive!

All those wonderful moments when my heart is full of worship would not be half as wonderful to me without the difficult situation first. Because of the little moments God provides after the little pain, I know by faith that I can trust my God who is faithful to provide even greater joy-whether in heaven or eventually on earth-for the greater pain and struggles.

Maybe the reason our hearts aren't constantly filled with worship is because we choose to focus on the mundane- de-spiritualizing life and not recognizing how much God is behind every joy or struggle we face.

“[Your mercies] are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness!” Lamentations 3:23