The Future...

I listened to a humorous children's audio story the other day at sign language class about a nine-year-old boy who couldn't ride his bike. All his friends could ride their bikes. Even his five-year-old sister could ride her bike. But every time he started picking up speed, he got scared, wobbled, and fell. Then he would say to himself, "If I can't ride a bike now, what's going to heappen when I get older?" The music would then switch to a techno, 'futuristic' music as a low radio anouncer called out, "The future." The little boy would dream of the terrible things that would happen in the future all because he hadn't learned to ride his bike.

Random? Uh, I guess? Not really...I'm a senior this year. Lately, evereryone's been asking me about (you guessed it) *insert techno, futuristic music* "the future". Now that I've hit the magic age of 18, everyone naturally assumes that God has walked up and handed me an envelope with the words "What you are to do with your life" clearly etched on the outside. Yea. It's getting annoying, not to mention, I'm suddenly having all these fearful thoughts. Everyone else knows what they're doing when they graduate. Even people who are younger than me know what they're doing. But I don't. What's going to happen when I graduate? And then the future becomes some sort of scary thing and I start to panic. I can really identify with that little boy.

I was thinking (translation: panicking) today about what I'm going to tell everyone this summer at camp who ask me what I'm doing with my life. Some very overused (yet painfully true) verses popped into my mind. "Trust in the LORD with all you heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." My own understanding tells me that I need a plan for my life, but that's not what God says. God says, "Trust me and I will give you direction." That's so hard to do right now because everyone is watching and waiting for my next step. I want to acknowledge God in every area of my life. I want Him to give me absolute assurance and guidance on what my next step should be.

I really don't think it's college at this point, because I don't have one definite career I'd like to pursue. A college degree would be useless if I don't plan on using it. I don't have thousands of dollars to invest in something I'm not sure I wanna do with my life. I also definitely don't think it's God's will for me to get married any time soon. I feel God calling me towards doing something with missions, but I'm not sure yet to what extent.

So I'm trying to stop leaning on my preconceived notions of what my future will be like and ideas for what to do this fall and keep an open mind, trusting that God knows what He's doing and will reveal it to me when He's ready, opening the right doors at the right times. While I wait, I will continue to worship and serve Him as John Waller's song "While I'm waiting" says. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3b2jw1rjBc I tried to embed it here, but it wasn't cooperating. :D