Bridge May Be Icy- A Picture of God's Faithfulness

The sign at left makes me smile every time I see it. When I was younger, it amused me to see this sign over bridges in the heat of summer. I remember asking why they didn't take those silly signs down in summer, and I remember answering myself that it would be a lot of work to take down the signs just for the summer months, and that, after all, it did make me smile to see those signs when it was 90 degrees outside!

But that's not why I smile when I see that sign now. I smile now, because that sign reminds me of the faithfulness of God.

November 16, 2008 I passed over an icy bridge, and the car I was in spun out of control. I had just seen pictures from a friend of a car some of her friends had been driving which had also recently spun out of control, crashing the car, and leaving them both dead. I remember screaming out a prayer for help. I remember safely making it off the bridge. I remember stepping outside the car with the driver to look at the damage to the car. I think I was really just relieved and grateful at that point. I think I would've been ok. But then another car came up over that same bridge, spun out of control, and flipped upside down on the guardrail. It spun several times, before safely returning to the bridge. I'll never forget the sound of screeching metal mixed with the screams from my own voice as the car and its passengers teetered for several seconds between life and death.

And that unfortunately was not the end of the night. Several other cars came flipping and crashing over the bridge on front of me that night. I was terrified the whole time, afraid I might see the deaths of several helpless individuals, who were driving down the road, completely unaware of the dangers that faced them at the top of the hill where the bridge had turned to slick ice. I remember I was so scared, it became hard to breathe, and I remember gluing my hands to my ears to keep from hearing the screeching metal.

Miraculously, no one was severely injured that night. Several cars were flipped and crashed, but God kept all the passengers safe. I wish I could say that was reassuring to me. I wish I could say that the horrors of that night stayed in that night, but they didn't. The next time I went to cross that bridge, I felt all the same fears and panic rise up in me again. I found myself paralyzed with memories of that night, and it was all I could do to keep from crying. I felt sick to my stomach, and I wasn't sure what was happening to me.

That bridge was on my way to church, and I had to cross it four times a week to get to and from church every week for the rest of the winter. And every week for several months, no matter how hard I tried to reassure myself that God was in control, and I had no fear of death, for then I would finally get to be away from the troubles of this world and be with him in my true home, I felt the same way.

I tried several things to keep the panic from rising. I tried hiding my face in my lap the whole ride there and back so I wouldn't know when we were approaching the bridge so my body wouldn't know to bring back all the images, sounds and horrors of the night, but somehow, my body knew every time. I tried burying myself in conversation with those around me, trying to distract myself from the fact that I had to cross that bridge, but somehow, I couldn't push it from my mind. Most of all, though, every time I crossed the bridge, I prayed and begged God to take away the images and sounds in my mind, but every week, I continued to feel them resurface. I had recently gotten my driving permit, but I had no desire to drive, especially over that bridge.

But God is faithful. ^"The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." Lamentations 3:22-24.

He did not leave me in the state I was in forever. He allowed Satan to assault me for a while so I could gain a greater closeness with him and learn complete dependence on him, and then one day, the feelings and images and fears I felt as I crossed the bridge just disappeared.

Every time I see that sign and cross that bridge today, I smile, remembering God's faithfulness. He DOES answer prayer. Not always in my timing, but always perfectly in His, which is FAR better than my own. And sometimes, it's in the waiting for my prayers to be answered that I learn what it means to hope in Him, and just how merciful and faithful He is in withholding what I want to give me what is best.

And when I see that sign and remember his faithfulness to heal me from the effects of that night, I'm also reminded of the other ways He is faithful for which I am so grateful:

I'm grateful that He is faithful and never changes. I never have to worry that one day I'll wake up, and He'll no longer be a good God and He'll hate me. I'm grateful I never have to worry about Him changing His mind and making me earn His love, for I would never be able to do that on my own. I can only trust in what Jesus has earned for me.

I'm grateful that because He is faithful and never changes I can read the Bible which was written thousands of years ago, and I can know what my God is like today.

I'm grateful that through His faithfulness, the promises he made will never change and that he will never fail me or leave me.

But most of all, I'm grateful he didn't give me my way when I was a rebel, a sinner, needing his mercy and the substitute sacrifice of Jesus. I'm grateful for His faithfulness to continue to convict me of sin, and show me that true forgiveness is easily found in the cross: easy for me, but it was not for Jesus.

"God, who has called you into fellowship with His Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful." 1 Corinthians 1:9